Update on Mom - 12/23

Everytime I come back to Honolulu, my mom looks better and better. She is more alert. She still doesn't know who I am, but I'm not phased by it anymore. I know who I am. This has been the most relaxing Christmastime I have ever had in my life. My sole focus has been taking care of my mom here on Oahu, and then when I'm on Maui, I catch up on work and household chores, getting ready to come back to Oahu. I'm giving just one gift this year...

...that is time with my mom. That's the only gift I can give. And it will be enough. My family is understanding, although my 16-year-old was at first taken aback by the news. This year, Christmas is different. When I'm at the hospital, some of the time is spent taking care of mom, some of the time is spent watching her sleep. I don't watch tv anymore, so I've been reflecting on Jesus coming, reading my Bible, praying for people, keeping it very simple. I'm not making lists or checking them twice, I'm not shopping at stores or online. It's been very nice and I hope to incorporate some of this year's Christmas into future years' Christmases.

Oh, but this was supposed to be an update about my mom. She is seeing the physical therapists and they are hopeful she will be able to walk again. She says more words now, but only when she feels like it, hardly ever on command. She sees her right arm and is trying to get it to work, which means she is aware of her condition somewhat. My prayer request is that she would have healing enough to be able to be at home and live for as long as her heart and lungs are working. We are looking to place her in a nursing home in Pearl City now. The Kapolei nursing home is good too, but the city & county of Honolulu has just two ambulances to serve the whole Waianae-Maili-Nanakuli coast, and so everytime my mom needed to go back to Kaiser Hospital, the ambulances can only take her as far as the nearest hospital (St. Francis West). They have to admit her, get her on meds, then request another ambulance to take her from there to Kaiser. This is very hard on her frail body. We will not have that problem at the Pearl City nursing home. We're still looking for short-term nursing with the goal to have her at home if at all possible. But my dad is her primary caregiver and he is 78 years old, so mom will need to be able to walk a bit and communicate her needs first. Otherwise, we'll end up with two parents needing care.

I find it heartwarming that my dad is wanting to care for his bride in her older years. I think of my friend Debbie's dad who did the same - visiting his bride at Hale Makua every day for a couple of years. And I also think of the character in the movie The Notebook, who lived in the same nursing home as his wife so he could read to her their story every day. The love portrayed in this simple act of caring for your aging spouse brings me to tears. It is such a true, unselfish love, not unlike God's love for us.