Spiritual Pride

It has been quite a while since my last post. I have good reason though. I've been going through such personal trials that I had to switch over to my private blog for a while. My daughter is 15. Need I say more?

But tonight what is on my mind is a group of young people who are members of "The Brethren". Not the large group of believers, but the small group of nomads. They are led by one Jim Roberts aka Brother Evangelist aka The Elder. They are a Christian cult and I just finished reading a book about them, "From Dean's List to Dumpsters" by Jim Guerra. Excellent book. Every Christian ought to read his book. I'm interested in the group of people because back in the Fall of 2000, I was either dropping off or picking up my daughter at the dorms of the University of Hawaii, and there were these posters of a missing girl. Her name was (is) Kellie Domen. She and her boyfriend at the time, Benjamin Mejia, joined The Brethren in October of 2000. My heart ached for her family and through the years I've prayed for her off and on, and looked up her name on Google. This time, I found her mom's letters that she posted on the parent site, so I emailed her mom to let her know I would be praying daily for her Kellie, who now goes by the name Sister Mariah. I also needed to ask her permission to submit this prayer request at my church and she say that would be okay. I was hoping she would email me back that first time to tell me that Kellie had in fact returned home, but that was not the case. Kellie has been away from her family for going on eight years. Her mom did see her for a quick visit.

Anyway, about the book. I was able to gain insight into how to pray for Kellie. I also received a bonus benefit that was not expected. I saw me and my fellow mainstream Christians from the viewpoint of a young person in college. They see compromise. They see lukewarm faith. And it impacts them. It also makes them vulnerable to this particular cult. That is because The Brethren are sold-out for Christ, living solely to tell others about Jesus. Or so they say. In reality they too have their issues. But that's what attracts young people to them - they are not lukewarm, they don't compromise their faith. This compels me to examine my life.

Another bonus insight is regarding judging and pride. There is a part in the book where the author talks about fasting. He was fasting for a week and he found himself comparing his fasting to that of the others in the group. He felt "more spiritual" (his pride). He started to judge the others as not being as spiritual as he was. And on other occasions, when he was around town or hitching a ride to the next town, he would catch himself being judgmental toward those outside his group. He would refer to outsiders as carnal and not as good as he. This sent my mind on a tangent. Do I do that? I can see how easy it would be to do that. If we're not careful, we can turn Pharisee-like...judging other people. I do see it in the Christian community, which is so sad. We need to daily remind ourselves that the only difference between us and someone who is not a Christian is God's mercy (undeserved grace). We knew that at the moment of our salvation, but we tend to forget, and the farther we move away from our outward sins, the easier it is to start looking down on those who have yet to receive that mercy. I dread falling into that and I'm sure it is always unintentional, but damaging nevertheless.

I look around at other groups of people and I see that the same thing can happen just about anywhere. Home-schooling parents can make me feel like they are better than traditional schooling parents. Vegetarians can really make me feel like a lesser human being because I love a Ruby's burger. Eco-conscious individuals can make me feel guilty for not recycling as much as them. I (drive a sedan, would like a hybrid) catch myself thinking judging thoughts about all the SUV drivers I see. I know it's because we believe so strongly in our cause, but there has to be a way to believe deeply in something, and yet still extend grace to others who don't believe the way we do.

I'm sure some of it is internal inside me. No matter how hard we try to be sensitive to the feelings of others, we will always unintentionally offend people because we don't know what kind of filters they're viewing things through due to their life experiences. But I pray that God would give me a new awareness of what I say and do. When I'm working on my spiritual growth, I need to make sure I don't subconsciously prop myself up above anyone else. I need to be mindful of the words I use.

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